Monday, July 26, 2010

All Things July

And so things go crazy - they bend and sway twirl around me endlessly and I find myself exhausted just from thinking some days.

Today unfortuantely is no exeption.

My love left for Dallas on the 4th of July, so it's been three weeks. What a new experience, the longest we've been apart since we've been married. I'm proud of myself most days at how well I handle and then I turn around and just lose it all. lol I honestly think that just all the uncertainty in our situation is just getting to me - have to be moved out by the end of the week and I'm moving in with the Rents, putting all our stuff that makes a home feel like mine gets to hold residence at Uncle Bob's Storage down the road for a few weeks, while we pray that Nate sells more cars and makes the money needed to move us into our new home and come pick me our kitties and belongings all up and take us there.

Before he left on the 4th we visit Ryan and Katie Gracie and their newest addition Noah who was born on July 1st! Oh this little guy was my buddy for the afternoon - I was addicted to holding him, completely smitten and SO ready for the day [that's approaching quickly] that I won't have to give him/her back because it will be my VERY OWN!!! It felt more natural holding a baby had ever felt, and I've held quite a few babies - He was so tiny and soft and perfectly content just being held...oh it was lovely. Here is a picture of us...

So anyway being apart from Nate has been something I was kind of glad we were able to do - I mean it totally sucks being apart don't get me wrong, but with our hoping of him still joining the army, being apart is just going to be part of the gig and I wanted to know how well we would handle it. I find it hardest when I talk to him or see him - which means or at least I'm hoping it means that when he if off at Basic Training it's not going to be so bad. Very limited contact if any...and it will be about as long as we are going right now...I'm glad that I'm passing the test - most days.

So onto Baby News...everyone either thinks I'm having twins or that "that's gonna be a big baby!" I don't mind, big strong healthy baby - yep sign me up. ;] Two of them - even better. I want what the Lord knows I can handle. The second trimest is proving to be WAY better - sickness has subsided for the most part - I get bigger spurts of energy most days - but am exhausted a LOT. I have another apt tomorrow - hearing that heartbeat is always such a relaxing moment - everything is okay! and then there is a sigh and relief that surprises me sometimes and yet I'm expecting it tomorrow and welcoming, I've been so stressed and I know how bad that is for little Baby Bernock - trying to find peace but with hormones raging like mine oh is it hard to find peace. I feel awesome and great and then the tiniest thing puts me into tears that on the one hand just feel so good...but then I feel plain ridiculous for crying yet again...I really am trying to not be so hard on myself...never really been good at that. bummer.

So here is the recent belly pic - it's funny how you sometimes don't see your growth and then you put on a pre-pregnancy shirt like the one below and can barely get it buttoned...let's just say this one will be retired till after our little bundle arrives!

21 weeks - Baby Banana Bernock

So I suppose that's all for now...I will have to post pictures from our Eclipse adventure another day...I really want to stay up to date with my blogging, maybe I'll post some of things we've picked out and put on our registry...what a crazy that whole ordeal is!

Well until then - be blessed dear friends,