Clarity, Time, Inspiration and a Lion

So I'm reading this amazing book Making Marriage Work, I started reading it at the beginning of the year and have just been gradually making my way through it. It's been helping identify some amazing things that I can do to help myself change. So many times I feel we are presented with issues where a fault is made clear and we are left standing there going...now what? How do I be that woman I've always strived to be, that woman I know God wants me to be. I feel like I pick one thing up in life to work on and then inevitably something is forgotten, but in any case this book has been amazing not only in my marriage but in relationships in general. I find that Joyce and I have a lot in common personality wise, spunky, outspoken, passionate...just to name a few. All I think can be great qualities at times but self control is needed many times as well.

Anyway through all the growing, yesterday I hit chapter 11 and it was about confrontation. Wow talk about perfect God timing there. It was awesome how she just pointed out the simpliest things that I already knew and yet they seemed revolutionary, that's God. =] I learned another thing I can do to help be understood correctly, and that is prefacing things. You see I know that I mess up just as much as the next person [maybe even more] I know I have flaws and faults, I can be snappy and easy offended at times, I'm not always as gentle as I would like, sometimes I'm selfish I really could go on. When confronting someone I need to make it more evident then I felt I had in the past that I don't think myself superior. I don't think myself better than anyone that I confront with an issue, I honestly feel like I'm trying to help them, whether to understand my emotions or someone else's...I don't know the point is, I need to point out at the beginning how I too have flaws and do not always act correctly.

Second and probably even more important than the first is I tend to be more like a lion than a lamb. I tend to see a problem, I try and figure it out, evaluate if I have done wrong and then I confront it. Well, I need to make sure I'm waiting for the go ahead from the Holy Spirit. Because even if what I have to say is truth if the Holy Spirit hasn't prepared the heart of the person I'm confronting it can end up a big mess, like the one I'm in now. Timing. It all boils down to timing, as soon as I got off the phone I knew it had not been the right timing, I shouldn't have gone there, it was my bad, I had the opportunity to kick myself repeatedly and I remembered one of my favorite Superchick songs that I have really been quoting a lot, if I get up I might fall back down again, so let's get up come on...the harder I fall the higher I've climbed...it cheered me up, b/c I recogonize my flaw and find rest that I would try and do better next time. But the way Joyce put it in her book just really worded it properly for me, gave me the little missing piece that I needed to actually be able to correct my fault and change in the future, how exciting it is to figure out how to change! I think the most important thing about this is that I don't need to stop being a lion completely b/c Jesus didn't. He was a lion and a lamb, he went from turning over tables in a church to not uttering a single word in his defense. He was in tune with God, He had proper timing. It seems contradictory but it's not. There is a right time and a wrong time. I'm sick of being in the wrong "time zone" I want to sychronize my watch with God's and learn to be more patient and demonstrate more self control. So there are a couple things you can pray for me about. =] And I will appreciate it!

Lots has been going on like I've said mostly, church stuff, lots of church stuff going on this month, and with Nathan only working one job now we will be able to go and do more stuff together! Praise God! and He is able to come to church with me every Sunday now! It's so amazing! We are focusing on the good, determined to overcome. I forgot to post the sermon that I promised but I'm kind of glad I waited b/c it turned out to be a series of 3 sermons...it really was amazing. If you have the time to give it, and would like to open your heart up for an amazing God given word I would encourage you to listen go ahead and click on this link:

http://web.mac.com/withoutwallscentral/Without_Walls_Central/Central_Podcast/Central_Podcast.html

the three are currently the last three titled [in order]

Living in the Bright Side Part 1 of Let the Rooster Crow

Make Some Noise Anyhow Part 2 of Let the Rooster Crow

Convinced in the Dark Part 3 of Let the Rooster Crow

Be prepared Pastor Scott gets super excited and passionate, he speaks truth and is one of the most genuine people I've ever met. We have been SO blessed by his messages there hasn't been one week where I haven't wanted to buy the cd and send it to people AND keep one for myself to listen to again later! It's annointed and spirit filled, and may not be for you, everyone has different seasons so don't feel obligated or bad if you don't like it after you listen. He's talking to us about what we need to be talked to about and it's good for us that's all I know! =]

Anyway, maybe some progress made in my singing career so excited about opportunity there as well. Found out our lease is an extra month so we will be here till the end of July. Which is okay, gives us a little extra time to come up with money for a deposit, and we have been going on walks every day around our ponds, in the complex. All the pretty birds and ducks and turtles come out it's a lot of fun and I'm getting that quality time I need from my hubby, so I'm feeling super loved. Yesterday we even barbequed! Here's a picture for you. =]

Thanks for being there, for reading, for praying, for understanding.

Love to you.